How to Talk About Sustainability Without Arguing

Mini course on sustainable talks

How difficult is it to talk about sustainability? How many times have you said something “green” and people started staring at the ceiling?

It happens to me a lot! That’s why I started looking at the real issue: how do we talk so people actually want to listen and without arguing?

Quick answer? keep a kind tone, honour the other person’s starting point, make benefits tangible for them, ask curious questions, and lead by example with small, real actions.

But… If you want to go deeper and hear about my experience over the last ten years of trying to make sustainability visible in this world—and get inspired by it—please keep reading! 😁

Small disclaimer… I’m not a communication expert, even though I’ve studied this topic a lot to manage sustainability talks. I’m just writing about my personal experience… which is already something!

So, do you want to know how to talk about sustainability without arguing and actually be heard?

Allora… let’s start.

First, when I’m talking with someone about sustainability, I make it very clear in my mind: “I’m not here to convert anyone. I’m here to learn together and maybe plant a small seed.”

My main inspiration for talking sustainably comes from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg—a highly recommended read. 😉

Here comes my sustainable talk strategy, following Rosenberg’s principles. I’ll use the example of talking with family members about the impact of turning off lights when they’re not needed.

I’m sure you know the scene: the sun is streaming in and the dining-room lights are still on 😱.

Part of you wants to shout, “Oops, they did it again!” and part of you doesn’t want an argument. It’s Sunday; you just want to enjoy the day (remember, personal sustainability matters!) and yet you still want the issue to land. I’ve been in this situation often. I wanted to protect my own calm while inviting my household to reflect on our impact on the planet.

After a lot of trial and error, these are the strategies I now use to talk about sustainability without arguing:

• Look for common ground: your household may not be interested in saving energy for environmental reasons, but they may care about reducing home energy costs. You could say: “I think we both care about reducing our energy consumption—it’s good for our savings and for the environment, too.”

• Observe, don’t judge: avoid lines like “You’re destroying the planet!” 🤬 which create resistance. Stick to facts: “Yesterday the lights were on all day while the sun was shining.”

• Express your feelings and needs: “I feel uneasy when I think we’re not doing our part for the sustainability of the planet and our own. I’d like to find a solution together. For example, with the money saved by switching off unnecessary lights, we could donate some to an environmental organisation and use the rest for a good meal together.”

When you pair this strategy with calm, patience, and gentle words—no nervousness, no impatience, no aggressive language, and especially no judgement or “I’ve got all the answers”—you’ve got a strong starting point for sustainable conversations.

Each of us has a different path, values, and needs that need to be respected.

⸻

Apart from Marshall Rosenberg’s teachings, other aspects that help me when talking about sustainability are:

1) Accept your interlocutor starting point

Not everyone is ready to give up meat, stop flying, or reduce consumption by tomorrow. Some are just taking their first step—and that’s already huge. My job is to listen first, ask questions, and understand their struggles before sharing my view.

Small talk, big listening. Ask: “What feels hard about this for you?” Then really hear it.

2) Show what’s in it for them

Sustainability is easier when it’s useful today: saving money on energy, eating simpler food that makes you feel good, supporting local shops so our neighbourhoods stay alive—even discovering new “green jobs” or skills.

3) Lead by example (this is my favourite!)

Share what you’re doing—without preaching: a plant-based dinner you cooked, the market you discovered, how walking to work helps your head. Normalising sustainable choices makes them easier to try. We’re more likely to try something a friend recommends.

⸻

If you need help with some examples, you can have a look at this short list of examples on how to talk about sustainability without arguing.

⸻

Finally, I’m still learning, and I still get it wrong. What’s your experience with this? Tell me in the comments!

And if you want a friendly companion on this path, The Natural App is here to whisper small, simple ideas—one day at a time. No pressure. Just seeds waiting to grow.